Dictionary of Hollywood terms

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Verbs
to schmooze ... befriend scum
to pitch ... grovel shamelessly
to brainstorm ... feign preparedness
to research ... procrastinate indefinitely
to network ... spread misinformation
to collaborate ... argue incessantly
to freelance ... collect unemployment
Nouns
Agent ... Frustrated Lawyer
Lawyer ... Frustrated Producer
Producer ... Frustrated Writer
Writer ... Frustrated Director
Director ... Frustrated Actor
Actor ... Frustrated Human
Compound Words
High-concept ... Low brow
Production values 1 ... Gore
Production values 2 ... Explosions
Entry Level ... Pays nothing
Network approved ... Has made them money
Highly qualified ... Knows the producer
Financial Terms
Net ... Something that apparently does not exist
Gross ... Michael Eisner's Salary
Back end ... You, if you think You'll ever see any residuals
Deferral ... Don't hold your breath.
Points ... See "Net" or "Back end"
Common Phrases
You can trust me. ... You must be new.
It needs some polishing. ... Change everything!
It shows promise. ... It stinks rotten.
It needs some fine tuning. ... Change everything!
She got great press. ... She'll never live down the embarrassment.
I'd like some input. ... I want total control.
It needs some honing. ... Change everything!
Call me back next week. ... Stay out of my life for ever!
It needs some tightening. ... Change everything!
Try and punch it up. ... I have no idea what I want.
It needs some streamlining. ... Change everything!
It's all up on the screen. ... You'll never find the money I embezzled.
You'll never work in this town again. ... I have no power whatsoever.

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