- Learn to work the toilet seat: if it's up, put it down.
- Don't cut your hair. Ever.
- Don't make us guess.
- If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
- Sometimes, he's not thinking about you. Live with it.
- He's never thinking about
- Get rid of your cat. And no, it's not different, it's just like every other cat.
- Dogs are better than any cats. Period.
- Sunday = Sports.
It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
- Shopping is not everybody's idea of a good time.
- Anything you wear is fine. Really.
- You have enough clothes.
- You have too many shoes.
- Crying is blackmail. Use it if you must, but don't expect us to like it.
- Your brother is an idiot.
- Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work.
- No, he doesn't know what day it is. He never will. Mark anniversaries.
- Share the bathroom.
- Share the closet.
- Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers.
- A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
- Nothing says
I love you like sex in the morning.
- Foreign films are best left to foreigners.
- Check your oil.
- Don't give us 50 rules when 25 will do.